A Post for all the mothers who've lost their children

I want to write you all about my friend Pearl. Some of you may know her from her blog http://www.sweetnessofsalalah.blogspot.com/ . She was married in Dhofar, was a faithful good wife, and super doting mama, and now she is divorced and the custody of her son Qhatan in the hands of his father.... more or less.

As a mother I couldn't imagine be seperated from my daughter, especially when a child is under the age of two years.

In Islam, when the parents divorce, if the mother is a decent Muslim even IF the father is a better one, and the children are under two years of age, the custody goes to the mother. After two the mother may return the children to their father if she wishes to remarry. This is done in ISLAM to ALLOW the women to remarry and make new lives with husbands who might not accept the responsibilty of someone else's kids if their cultures are difficult on it. It doesn't mean that once the woman remarries she can never have custody of her children again! Or that She MUST give them up in the first place when doing so!

In Islam, Muslims are told to always put their mothers first after Allah Himself.

How could Pearl's son do this if he never sees her for example?

When a boy is nine he may decide under Shariah law, whether he wants to live with his mother or father.

I knew Pearl before all this happened. When I moved back to Oman she was willing to give me advice for everything. When I met her she was a super strict with herself Muslim and kind hearted person. Overly generous, even in tough times herself.

For a culture such as Dhofar's that discourages women from work and a career as something as shameful because "the REAL men will provide for them" [thus forcing them to become completely dependent]----what happens to those SAAAAAAAAAAAME ' real men' when a woman is divorced and the government affords her a salary of 100 rials a month for care of her baby, rent, and herself?

What is she to do? Where is she to go?

Who would treat the mother of their child like that anyway, forcing her to live in poverty to be able to see her child?

MOP says the following quote sums up his opinion of someone who would not make life easy on the mother of their own child: "THE BEST OF YOU {MUSLIM MEN} ARE THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE THE BEST TO YOUR WIVES AND YOUR FAMILIES" - The PROPHET MOHAMMED S.A.W

Some women stay in bad marriages until they commit suicide or just die by the mercy of Allah.

Pearl was braver than that. She knew she couldn't let THAT happen to herself.

And how do people congratulate Pearl?:

Pearl was told if she ever remarries she can never have custody of her son. Which is SO UN-ISLAMIC I wanna cry. She hasn't seen her baby. Or even been told about him.

There is NOOOOOOOOOO justice in that.

I know something more should be done legally.